Myesha was a web designer for work-at-home moms who ran online businesses. She started offering her services because she loved helping her clients. But as time went on, Myesha found herself continually putting out fires for her customers while she drifted further and further from her own business goals.
When Myesha complained to her mentor, the other woman had her describe a typical day in her business. Myesha talked about getting up in the mornings, checking her email, and immediately diving into whatever requests her clients made. She often checked her email throughout the day and would drop everything to accommodate everyone else.
Myesha’s mentor quickly pointed out that the problem was Myesha’s poor boundaries. She explained that Myesha needed to have set times when she checked her email to deal with client requests.
“When it’s not email time,” her mentor explained, “you should be working on goals that relate to your business and what you really want from it.”
Unfortunately, Myesha isn’t alone. Many online business owners struggle with setting smart boundaries in their business. Here are a few tell-tale signs that this might be a problem for you too…
1. You Resent Your Clients
Maybe you don’t even recognize that you resent them. But as soon as you see their name in your inbox, you cringe. You’re angry when they give you assignments, and you sometimes consider sabotaging a project or two, just to see what would happen.
When you resent your clients, it’s usually a clear sign that your boundaries are being trampled. You may not feel like you can say anything because you don’t want to be picky, or you may think this client provides so much of your income that you can’t stand up for yourself.
2. You’re Always Walking on Eggshells
You feel as if you always have to step lightly around your client or clients. You can’t tell them what you really think about a project or give honest feedback for fear they’ll fly off the handle.
For some service providers, they make the mistake of thinking that they have to smooth everything over for their client. In these cases, you may act more like a babysitter instead of the competent freelancer you are.
3. You’re Not Sleeping Well or Eating Right
Often when stressed and overwhelmed, the first things to go are the very choices that help you feel at your best.
You start getting up earlier or staying up later in order to get a jump on the last project.
You skip out on a good meal and instead eat chips in front of your computer screen to squeeze in an extra twenty minutes of work.
While these trade-offs sometimes happen when you’re on a tight deadline, if they become everyday occurrences, it’s a sign that your work-life balance is seriously damaged, and your boundaries need to be examined.
4. You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Said No
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to please your clients and customers. But if you’re always saying “yes” to everyone else, then what happens is you’re forced to say “no” to yourself.
In a healthy client relationship, where there are clear boundaries, you’re free to turn down projects that don’t interest you or are outside your area of expertise.
Instead of spending twenty hours trying to learn video software when you’re a virtual assistant that specializes in content marketing, you simply turn the project down.
You might say something like this, “That sounds like a fun project. But it’s not a fit for the skills you hired me for. Would you like me to ask around for a good video editor and make a recommendation for you?”
5. You Feel Overwhelmed All the Time
This often goes hand-in-hand with an inability to say no. If you’re always overwhelmed, and you have more work on your plate than you could realistically accomplish, it’s time to start looking at making changes.
Of course, that advice doesn’t help right this minute. But what you can do is go back to the client that’s overloaded you and say simply, “This is more work than can be accomplished in the time frame you’re asking for. What would you like me to prioritize?”
6. You’re Always Online
Even when you say you’re spending time with your kids, you’re busy checking your phone and answering work emails. You skip out on drinks with friends or dates with your spouse, so you can squeeze in another hour or two of work. It’s not a problem if this happens occasionally. But if you’re always making yourself available to clients, then you’ve created a situation of poor boundaries.
In a healthy client relationship, you have “off” hours. These are hours that clients don’t contact you during or, if they do, they know not to expect a response until your next business day.
7. You’ve Lost Touch with What You Really Want
When Mia hired a business coach to help her with her constant feeling of overwhelm, her coach asked what she really wanted from her virtual assistant business. The question stumped Mia, and she didn’t know how to respond.
When your boundaries are broken, everyone else is telling you what you want, and you’re reacting. Unfortunately, this means you’re not proactive about creating what you truly want. Often, you’re left with a business that doesn’t reflect your dreams, wants, or values.
8. You Don’t Know What Your Own Priorities Are
Do you know what goals are most important to moving your business forward? When was the last time you even stopped to evaluate your progress toward those goals? Have you done it in the last three months, six months? Or are your goals just one of those things you’ll “get around to” later?
Greg McKeown once said, “If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”
It’s the same concept with your business. If you don’t set clear priorities and determine what’s most important, then those around you will.
9. You Can’t Remember Why You Started Your Business
You used to love getting out of bed in the mornings. You looked forward to starting a new project. You couldn’t wait to carve out time for your business.
But you can’t remember what those days feel like anymore. In fact, you can’t remember the last time you sat down to do your work and actually enjoyed it. If you’ve disconnected from the joy of what you do, you’re on the fast track to burn out.
10. You’ve Started Avoiding Your Business
If it’s not on fire at this moment, then you’re not dealing with it. You ignore your social media messages. You’ve stopped emailing your list. You only communicate with your clients when absolutely necessary.
Once you’ve reached this point, it’s time for drastic action. You’re dangerously close to burning out and possibly destroying the business you’ve worked so hard to build. You need to take quick action to restore boundaries and balance to your business.
Create the Business of Your Dreams
You can reclaim your passion for your business, restore balance to your life, and once again enjoy what you do. But it starts with taking radical action and setting boundaries with your clients. You’ll be happier for it and able to do work you love again!
