As coaches, we’ve all been there – we’ve given our clients the best advice and strategies, but for some reason, they still can’t seem to make progress. The truth is, they’re stuck. They’re holding back, procrastinating, and self-sabotaging, but they might not even realize it themselves. That’s why, as a coach, it’s important to recognize this common problem and master the ultimate coaching skill of getting your clients unstuck.
But why is being stuck so harmful? For starters, it keeps your clients from achieving the results they desire, and as a result, they don’t feel accomplished or celebrate their success. They may even disappear altogether, leaving you wondering what went wrong.
To understand how to help your clients get unstuck, you first need to understand the basics of stuckness. There are four keys to recognizing and overcoming this “silent killer,” and mastering them will give you a superpower that many coaches lack.
So, let’s get started and learn how to help your clients move forward towards achieving their dreams.
You Must Know Why People Get Stuck
Here are some of the most common reasons people get stuck:
- People get stuck in patterns of behavior, such as fear or self-doubt.
- People get stuck because of past experiences that are haunting them. For example, “I tried that before and failed.”
- Sometimes people get stuck because they actually want to achieve their dreams so badly that it’s too scary and they freeze up.
- Sometimes people get stuck because they feel enormous pressure and the stakes are just too high–they feel like this is their last chance and time is running out, which leads to anxiety and overwhelm.
Understanding these reasons can help you as a coach to identify when your clients are stuck and find ways to help them get unstuck.
You Must Know the Costs of Being Stuck
Being stuck can have significant negative impacts on your clients, so it’s important to be aware of the costs of being stuck. Here are some of the most common costs associated with being stuck:
- It can be extremely painful and frustrating, causing your clients to feel badly about themselves.
- It can be costly, resulting in hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost income when clients don’t take action.
- It can waste your clients’ money because they don’t take full advantage of things they’ve invested in, such as training or coaching.
In addition to these tangible costs, being stuck can also cause deeply felt negative emotions like heartbreak, devastation, feeling like a failure, or worthlessness. If not addressed, these feelings can lead to a downward spiral that causes your clients to give up on their dreams, which is the ultimate cost.
As coaches, we also feel bad when we see a client or loved one who’s stuck and may start to doubt ourselves and our abilities to help them. So, it’s essential to understand the costs of being stuck and take action to get your clients unstuck as soon as possible.
You Must Know What Being Stuck Looks Like
Signs that a person is stuck:
- Procrastinating and not doing things at the optimal time
- Overthinking and not taking action to move forward
- Playing small and not taking bigger, impactful actions
- “Too much/not enough” complaints (e.g., too much debt, fear, stress, and not enough success, money, love, etc.)
It can be difficult for a coach to recognize stuckness because it primarily manifests as what the person is NOT doing. This can lead to clients putting on a show for their coach, telling them what they want to hear, while in reality they’re still stuck.
The word “avoidant” is a key indicator that a client is stuck because they are actively avoiding taking action.
You Must Know That The True Roots of Stuckness Lie Below the Surface of Those “Mysterious Behaviors”
To help your clients get unstuck, it’s important to understand that:
- The first step is to realize that your client is stuck.
- The thing you need to fix is NOT the mysterious behavior itself.
- Self-sabotaging behaviors such as procrastination, over-thinking, and playing small are symptoms, not the root cause of the problem.
- The real issues lie below the surface behavior.
- The key to getting someone unstuck is to identify the REAL issue underneath the surface behavior and work on that issue.
By focusing on the underlying issues rather than the surface behaviors, coaches can help their clients break free from their patterns of stuckness and achieve their goals.
Provide A Breakthrough
To help your client get back in action, there’s one main thing you need to do: give them a breakthrough! And more specifically, they need a breakthrough in motivation. But let’s be clear, when we say “breakthrough,” we’re not talking about a simple mindset shift or a new way of thinking. Those tools are powerful for coaching people who aren’t stuck, but for a client who’s truly stuck, they need something more energizing.
That’s where a “Motivation Recharge” comes in – it’s what we consider a breakthrough in this case. What does a Motivation Recharge look like? Check out the list below:
- The client feels a rising sense of empowerment with renewed passion, desire, enthusiasm, and confidence flowing up through their body.
- They suddenly feel excited again, and the impulse to act builds from a huge inner shift of deeply felt clarity and certainty about what they really want and deserve to be, do, and have.
- When clients experience a motivation breakthrough like this, they often say things like, “Wow, I feel excited!” or “You’re never going to believe what I did after our last session!”
- And they’re absolutely thrilled that your coaching has provided the breakthrough and transformation they needed.
So, to sum it up, a motivation breakthrough is a dramatic shift of consciousness, energy, and sense of empowerment that is crucial in helping your client get unstuck.
How Can You Help?
If you want to help someone who’s stuck, you need to understand the five layers that are going on inside them, hidden underneath their avoidant behaviors. Once you understand these layers, you can start to work with your client to make progress towards getting unstuck.
First, we must identify the five layers:
- Surface behaviors: These are the behaviors that you can see on the surface, like procrastination or overthinking. These are the behaviors that your client is likely to complain about and want to change.
- Negative emotions: Beneath the surface behaviors, your client is likely to be experiencing negative emotions like fear, anxiety, or self-doubt. These emotions are often what’s driving the surface behaviors.
- Limiting beliefs: These negative emotions are often fueled by limiting beliefs, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be successful.” These beliefs are often deeply ingrained and can be difficult to identify and change.
- Unresolved past experiences: These limiting beliefs are often based on past experiences that your client hasn’t fully processed or resolved. These experiences can be from childhood or more recent events, and they can create emotional blocks that keep your client stuck.
- Core wounds: At the deepest layer, there are core wounds that your client has been carrying around for a long time. These wounds are often related to feelings of shame, abandonment, or not being loved or accepted. They can be difficult to heal but addressing them is often necessary to create lasting change.
So, when you’re working with a client who’s stuck, it’s important to look beyond the surface behaviors and try to understand what’s going on at each of these layers. By addressing the underlying issues, you can help your client create meaningful and lasting change in their life.
How Do I Actually Do It?
By taking each issue, layer by layer, once identified and by responding to it accordingly in partnership with your client.
As a personal or life coach, there are several ways to help clients overcome each of the five layers that are going on inside someone who’s stuck.
Surface Behaviors & Habits
To help a client change their behaviors and habits, a coach can use techniques such as habit formation, behavior modeling, and goal setting.
These techniques can help clients develop new, positive behaviors and habits that support their goals and aspirations.
Negative Emotions & Feelings
To help a client manage and shift their emotions and feelings, a coach can use techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, and emotional regulation.
These techniques can help clients identify and manage their emotions, develop a greater sense of self-awareness, and cultivate a more positive emotional state.
Limiting Beliefs & Mindsets
To help a client shift their limiting beliefs and negative mindsets, a coach can use techniques such as cognitive reframing, visualization, and affirmations.
These techniques can help clients challenge and change their negative self-talk, develop a more positive outlook, and replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones.
Unresolved Past Experiences - Environment & Relationships
To help a client shift their environment and relationships, a coach can help them identify and address any negative or toxic relationships or environments that may be holding them back, particularly those that have caused trauma over the years.
This can involve setting boundaries, developing new relationships, or creating a more supportive and positive environment.
Core Wounds - Purpose & Meaning & Coping Skills
Core wounds are complicated and very difficult to address and overcome.
First, you’ll want to help the client build a firm foundation by addressing their purpose and meaning in life. This creates something for the client to figuratively grab onto when things get rough.
To help a client find their purpose and meaning, a coach can use techniques such as values clarification, goal setting, and visioning. These techniques can help clients identify their core values, set meaningful goals that align with their values, and develop a clear vision for their future.
Now that the client has a new sense of purpose and meaning in life which you, as a life coach, can build on, the client should feel comfortable sharing their past experiences that are holding them back.
At this point, you can work with them to reframe their beliefs and challenge negative thought patterns. This involves helping the client identify the root cause of their wounds and exploring new ways to perceive their experiences. By reframing their beliefs and focusing on their strengths and positive qualities, clients can begin to heal from past trauma and develop a more positive self-image.
You’ll want to use their newfound purpose and meaning in life to help develop their self-confidence throughout this process.
Additionally, you’ll want to help your client develop coping mechanisms and healthy habits that support their emotional and mental well-being. This can include mindfulness practices, self-care routines, and boundary-setting techniques to prevent negative patterns from recurring.
Keep in mind that healing from core wounds is a process and will likely require ongoing support and guidance.
Overall, as a coach, it’s important to work with clients holistically, addressing each of these five layers in a way that is tailored to their individual needs and goals. By helping clients to overcome each of these layers, coaches can help them break through their stuckness and create the fulfilling and purposeful life they desire.
I’m not going to sugarcoat this, getting unstuck is a difficult process, and it’s not always easy for people to identify why they’re feeling stuck or what’s holding them back.
However, with the help of a skilled personal or life coach, clients can overcome the five layers of stuckness and achieve their goals.
It’s essential to remember that being stuck is not just about what a person is doing or not doing. The real issues lie beneath the surface behaviors that clients exhibit. Personal or life coaches need to focus on helping clients identify the root causes of their stuckness and work on those issues.
A motivation breakthrough can help clients overcome the fifth layer of stuckness, which is a lack of motivation. This breakthrough should be a dramatic shift in consciousness, energy, and a sense of empowerment.
By understanding what being stuck looks like, personal or life coaches can help clients break free from their patterns of avoidance and self-sabotage.
By addressing the root causes of their stuckness and providing the tools and strategies they need, coaches can help clients achieve their goals, improve their lives, and become their best selves.
And in return, you’ll have a very satisfied client who will undoubtedly offer a glowing testimonial and review you can use to get more clients.
