Working with clients is an integral part of being a freelancer, but not all clients are created equal.
Some clients can be incredibly supportive, collaborative, and ultimately lead to a fulfilling and profitable relationship. However, there are also clients that can be toxic, draining, and even detrimental to your business and personal well-being.
In this article, we’ll explore the signs of a toxic client and a great soulmate client, so you can identify and cultivate strong client relationships that benefit both you and your clients.
By understanding the warning signs and opportunities for success, you can avoid unnecessary stress and conflicts and focus on building a thriving freelance career.
6 Red Flags that You’re About to Start Working with a Toxic Client
Sometimes when things go sour with a contracted client whom we have been doing work for, we wonder exactly how we got into this situation.
A paying client that turns out to be toxic sometimes comes into your work life, much like a bad relationship in your personal life. Things start off normal enough. Maybe you’re even excited to work with this person. They pressed all your hot buttons with what they said to you upon meeting.
Now, however, when you see that text come in or when the email alerts light up your phone, you get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. What is your toxic client going to need now? What kind of stress are you about to face?
This all could have been avoided, but how? The answer is learning the red flags that will clue you in to a client who’s going to come in as a shark or barracuda and try to overtake you with their possessive energy.
Please keep in mind that just because some people are difficult to work with does not mean that you need to be on your guard, looking at every client who comes to your door with suspicious eyes.
Try to keep everything in perspective. If things go wrong, it’s not the end of the world, despite that it could get a bit hairy trying to wiggle your way out of the commitment with said toxic client. Ultimately though, you’ll be better for having had the experience and you will certainly have learned something and come out stronger in the end.
So let’s talk about those red flags. What are the signs that a toxic client is headed your way like a heat-seeking missile and this is your only chance to run before you get sucked in by their black hole?
#1: "Rescue my project” - a.k.a. The Criticizer.
This client comes into your association immediately bad-mouthing somebody that they worked with in the past. This is a pattern that probably will happen over and over in your freelance or independent contractor life until you learn by experience and recognize when it’s about to happen again. How does this go? A new prospect shows up at your door inquiring about your services. They come in with a brisk manner, anxious for you to help them fix some urgent problems that someone else messed up.
The would-be client kind of positions you as the savior in this scenario. Another freelancer disappointed them with shoddy work or didn’t do what they expected. Now they need you to come in and save the day.
Of course, you fall for it. The story sucks you in, and you’re about to don your superhero cape and pull out all your best freelancer moves. Surely this client is going to be dazzled by everything you create for them.
Of course, the opposite happens. Shortly into the work, the client expresses dissatisfaction. Undaunted, you slog merrily on, determined to win them over with the next round of changes to their product or project.
But instead, they seem to grow even more unhappy with what you have provided. It’s like they want you to think on their behalf and know what’s inside their head and pull it out and turn it into a finished product. But then when you do that, they immediately come back complaining that you’re not understanding them at all and that this work simply doesn’t meet an acceptable standard.
Round 6 or 7 of this, you’re growing weary of the game and wonder why if the client has such a specific idea in mind that they don’t just do the work themselves?
The truth about this toxic client is that they don’t know what they want. They only recognize what they don’t want, which is anything anybody could possibly create on their behalf.
It is somehow part of their toxic makeup to find fault in another — and this also ties in nicely with their sudden frugal mindset, which translates to later accusing you of not delivering at a level of professionalism that would warrant the expected payment.
Ultimately, what does this brand of toxic client want from you? They might want to get the most work or creative productivity out of you for the least amount of money. That’s if they’re a strategic thinker. But who knows what’s inside your toxic client’s head? This person could very well be so disorganized mentally that they can’t even get past the hurdle of refusing to validate the work that you’re doing for them… and so they’re never going to get anywhere.
What this boils down to is wasted time. When you work for clients, the unspoken exchange is their money for your time. Sure, maybe they’re talented enough or capable enough or intelligent enough to do what you do. But people hire professionals every day to avoid doing tasks that they could perfectly well do themselves but simply don’t want to or don’t have time to do.
So essentially, this toxic client would rather play head games with you and feed their own ego then get any work done in a timely fashion or compensate you for the time that you put in on their behalf.
What should you do? Get good at red-flagging people who approach you in this criticizing manner. Don’t be fooled. Recognize that they’re just going to continue the pattern of knocking on one after another door of an unsuspecting freelancer, claiming to each that this one will be the one who finally meets their unreachable expectations.
But it’s never going to happen. So, if a person comes to you and the first words out of their mouth are “I don’t like the way so-and-so did this work…” or, “The last person who worked for me was no good because…”
You need to carefully find a reason, a.k.a. an excuse, why you’d be unable to deliver the work that this person needs done. It can be any excuse at all. You can even make up a lie if you must. Something suddenly might come up in your personal life that renders you incapable of handling a new client. Or maybe the work is out of the scope of your expertise, or so you say.
Whatever you do, know that the criticizer is soon going to victimize the next freelancer who comes along. So, if you have a buddy in the business, you might as well let them know and give the person a heads-up in private and do both of yourselves a favor.
#2: No Boundaries in Communication
One type of freelance client that you’ll want to avoid like the plague unless they’re paying you the king’s ransom is the client that slithers in by way of every communication point possible.
Perhaps this is not as bad as the first kind of toxic client looking to throw you under the bus and not pay. But there is a certain level of toxicity in someone who doesn’t respect other people’s right to communication boundaries.
They’re coming in on every platform – Facebook Messenger, text, email, and phone calls.
One major problem with this all-over-the-place talker is that they make it very difficult to track the work done on the project and keep up with draft edits if that’s part of the work. This is of course because they’re all over the place. The worst offense that this type of toxic client has is their tendency to text you piecemeal information and speak in confusing and vague language. It’s very frustrating!
Again, toxic might be a harsh way to describe this person.
But whether or how much they are toxic will depend on if they stay accountable for their sloppy communication or if they repeatedly confuse you with haphazard wording only to turn around and chastise you for not being able to read their mind or for doing the wrong thing based on misinterpretation.
#3: Dodgy Payer Problems
It’s a true blessing to have a freelance client who understands the importance of paying their workers on time… and a true curse to have the opposite type of client. This is the toxic kind who has no problem taking up most of your week, possibly even including off-hours like late nights and weekends. But then when the bill comes, this person is conveniently nowhere to be found.
Is there any type of red flag that can help you avoid signing on with potentially promising clients who soon devolve into late payers? Well, one way is to look them up online and see who else has done business with them in any way and had positive things to say about the interaction.
If nobody can seem to vouch for this person, it might serve you well to play it cautiously. Start with one project, something simple that you can handle over a day or two, just to dip your feet in. If the project goes well, issue the invoice. But then if the client suddenly pulls a “here today, gone tomorrow act, then now you know not to get in deeper with a flaky payer. Take the loss, back out and move on.
Why is it toxic to be a dodgy payer? Well, it doesn’t always have to be. There could be a variety of reasons why someone isn’t paying you in a timely fashion. Maybe they do not have a good handle on their personal finances, and maybe it just so happens that the coffers need to be filled at the time when it would be appropriate to pay you for your work.
The toxic part comes in because the client does a disappearing act and shuts down communication at a time when it would be very important, and respectful of your time and your professional work, for you to hear from them. It’s true – sometimes life gets in the way of people paying on time. But validation goes a long way to Band-Aid this scenario and at least foster positive communication until the bill is paid. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t function at this level of emotional intelligence, choosing silence instead.
So, once you issue the invoice, the client suddenly goes into hiding. When it’s time to follow up and make sure that they received the invoice, with a gentle reminder that payment is due, instead of communicating with you, they play it cagey. What to do now?
A much better way to handle this situation from the perspective of the dodgy payer is to open the lines of communication and come in negotiating.
A simple explanation, and an offer to pay a small fee for being late with payment or taking action to revisit the contract agreement in a way that respects your time while meeting their budget, could be some possible workarounds. These actions might lead to you getting paid by this client.
#4: You're Being Gamed & You Know It
One type of freelance client that can turn out to be toxic is what we might call the gamer. This person starts out asking you about your services, but then has an ulterior motive. They want to hook you in and pull a switcheroo so that YOU become their customer.
How do they do this? One way is by gradually chipping away at your confidence until you question that maybe they know something you don’t. They constantly question your expertise and talk a big game like they have the inside scoop on the latest technology or some type of inner success circle that you really must sign up for as a paying member.
Slowly over time with each conversation you find that this is a soft sell they’re using to kind of wear you down. They want to see how far they can take you into either some sort of barter arrangement where in exchange for you working for them, you become a customer of their technology product or part of their elite network.
It’s a great way for them to get work done either free or on the cheap. But for you, if you prefer to work for cash, being slowly lured into a barter exchange or flipped scenario of this kind is probably not what you had in mind for your freelance career.
In fact, many busy freelancers such as those who work in web design, copywriting, editing, virtual assistance, and graphic design really do not have time to cash in on these sorts of arrangements.
This may not point to toxicity. But being approached with a freelance bait-and-switch is not a sign of respect for you or your profession.
So, if you sense that someone is warming up and getting ready to pitch you on a product, membership or network that you don’t want or know that realistically you won’t be using, don’t fall prey to shiny object syndrome.
Instead, decide that this person does not have your best interest in mind and will not respect your time as a freelancer. Then back away slowly from the professional commitment.
#5: Your Client Leans On You Too Hard For Emotional Support
This is a codependent client situation that creeps up on you.
Many new freelancers walk into it completely unaware, to find that five months later their client is rambling on about how they don’t get along with their mother, undesirable traits of their ex-husband and everything else under the sun. You do not want to be dragged into this type of relationship.
What are the warning signs that one day your client may turn into an emotional leach, sucking away time from your other paid projects, to talk in your ear about whatever floats their boat now?
Pretty much if the first conversation that you have with your prospective client goes off the rails, and you end up talking to each other for an hour or two instead of what should have been 15 minutes, this could potentially be a red flag that it’s time to run.
It really depends though on whether the conversation was two-sided or one-sided. It is true that you could possibly have an instant karma connection and instant synergy with a new prospective client.
In that case, maybe the two of you take turns sharing ideas… and before you know it, you’ve built the foundation for your future joint venture with one magical, kick-off phone call.
But if the conversation seems to go on and on and instead of being fueled up for work you feel like your head is full of information about this person’s private life, then you may want to really take 10 steps backward and wiggle your way out of this one before it turns into a codependent nightmare.
#6: The Rip-Off Subcontracting Move
The rip-off client is what it sounds like: an idea thief. He or she does what you do, but has come in at a low point in the life of their enterprise. They’re not sure where to take things next, and might even be on the verge of burnout. This person is in a state of total disarray with their business, and ready to pack it in.
This is where the rip-off client sidles up and asks to subcontract work to you. It seems ideal, they are dealing directly with the clients and simply feeding you jobs, thus taking away the time suck that often goes along with account executive type communication.
Before long, negative language begins to creep into your new client’s communication with you, and you start to feel like they are subtly pushing you away from what began as a seemingly ideal relationship.
They’re also trash-talking the clients that you two are working together on projects for and bad-mouthing people that they have teamed up with in the past. Little sarcastic digs are beginning to creep into the work that you do together, and you’re starting to feel smarmy, like you’re about to become the next pawn in their game.
Before long, the subcontracting client starts coming up with reasons why you two might not be an ideal team together, likely your political views or something completely unrelated to the work that you do.
Next move, they drop you like a hot potato. Their plan is to now bypass you entirely and employ your business building techniques in their own enterprise. Maybe you see them a couple of months later talking smack, trying to play off some new business partner fresh off the freelancing street.
The rip-off client might be more difficult to identify at the outset because when they first enter the work relationship with you, they seem so complimentary and curious. Really, it’s just so they can gain access to your plans, ideas and dreams and then implement them in their own setup. We may as well call this working for a narcissist because that’s what it is.
Unfortunately, you’ll have to likely work with this person a few times before figuring out that they are something of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s probably a good idea not to share trade secrets with people who want to be your best friend after the second conversation that you two have together. It’s okay to move fast if it can potentially create income. But it’s also much better to protect your ideas from someone who could turn out who might one day show up wearing your brand.
You’re probably wondering now what’s the best way to attract good, reliable, and trustworthy people who can become your clients or turn into business partners or refer and or refer other great people your way. The answer is that slow and steady wins the race. It’s always tempting to rush in at the first dollar signs. But if you haven’t yet established a productivity flow between yourself and your potential client, it’s all too easy for one bump in the road to completely derail your relationship.
What happens when you get stuck working for toxic clients? People who are selfish, don’t have your best interests at heart, don’t respect your professionalism, don’t credit your expertise, swipe your ideas, and use false promises to lure away your best clients and overcharge them?
That’s when your work life turns from beautiful to the stuff of nightmares, much like the stressful 9 to 5 you fled from to seek a blissed out entrepreneurial existence.
Working with toxic clients will give that same sense of being shackled to the desk in a 9 to 5 job with bad coworkers. And the worst part is the clients who are driving you nuts aren’t promising you a 401k, won’t pick up the tab for your health insurance, and are taking away your energy and time that could be better spent serving clients who love you and who you love too!
Green Flags that Prove You Have Found Your Soulmate Client
We talked about red flag clients, so let’s shift gears and look for green ones. What’s a green flag? Is that even a thing? Green means go, and there are some people whom you are just meant to create cash flow with. If you work as an independent contractor or freelance professional then sussing out people like this can be difficult… but they’re quite literally worth their weight in gold.
Sometimes months or even years pass before this kismet-like client connection happens in your business and fattens your bank account. But it’s worth the wait. For some reason, there are certain individuals out there that you just quickly realize you are so professionally compatible that all the rules are thrown out the window, and it’s like they were born to be your business partner.
You might be impatient for it to happen, but hold out for the right one. You’ll notice with people like this that it seems like you two have an innate ability to sniff out income opportunities when you put your heads together.
So, enough of the introductions… let’s dig right into the signs that tell you the client you’ve been holding out hope for has appeared in your business life.
#1: You & Your Client Have A Little Backstory
You don’t need to have a lot of backstories. But it seems like the best client relationships are born from an acquaintanceship that grows slowly over time.
It’s not like the fly-by-night freelancer gigs that come and go on freelance websites. Those people likely won’t even remember your name.
If you’ve had a few, maybe two, maybe five conversations about business plans with this person… if you did a couple of projects and have kicked around ideas… it may be time to lock in the commitment and start creating together with cash payment in mind.
#2: Your Client Communication Flows With Ease
You and your soulmate client just naturally know how to communicate.
Your inclination is to be objective with each other and both of you seem to say what you mean, mean what you say, and understand each other.
This basically points to intellectual compatibility, which is a very important thing in a business partner.
#3: Your Skills & Professional Roles Mesh Well
You know you’ve found your soulmate client when the two of you slip easily into complementary work roles with each other.
You might each have a different skill set that, when combined, is like your business wonder twin powers activated.
Or you could both be in the same profession — for example, two writers, or two coaches — and you easily slip into mutually supportive roles that help you get more done when you’re together than you would have alone.
#4: You're Able To Meet Halfway
One huge green light in your client relationship is that the two of you freely and without trying to seem to constantly put in or “invest” in the relationship, and this goes back and forth.
Both parties are generous and of an abundance mindset that effortless has each person giving, then receiving from the other, then giving again.
This is an epic green flag of partner based success.
#5: Your Client Respects Your Professional Skill & Tells People
They talk you up to their friends, they offer sincere thanks for a job well done, they do things like pay on time and surprise you with bonuses… and they refer business to you, which is huge.
Likewise, you reciprocate by showing genuine enthusiasm for their professional gifts, and by sharing their good name with your inner circle of trusted contacts.
#6: You Can Both Easily Accept Suggestions & Criticism From Each Other
This points to an absence of ego in the work you’re involved with together, which feels like a huge burden has been lifted that’s often at the crux of typical client problems.
Being able to work together yet be detached from each of your respective roles and contributions to a project is a huge marker for a power team of business players.
Quick Wrap-Up
In the world of freelancing, client relationships are everything. A toxic client can derail your business and put a strain on your mental health, while a great soulmate client can elevate your work and help you achieve your goals. By knowing the warning signs and qualities of both types of clients, you can make informed decisions about who you work with and how you collaborate.
Remember, your business is your own, and you deserve to work with clients who respect and value your skills and expertise. With these insights and strategies, you can create a client base that brings out the best in you and your freelance career.
